It has been a tiring week and was waiting for this awesome weekend. from morning till evening, work tires me. I came back home and fall flat on my bed. Body aches, brain aches and heart aches.
body ache- Running around from room to room. It's physically demanding. strenuous tasks to be done all day along. hell alot of meetings to attend.
brain ache- too many things ongoing and hell alot of work to be done. I'm still a kid!!! pleasssssssse understand!
heart ache- i've been forced to do things that go against my own priniciples. I would love to stand firm by my principles but I can't! It hurts terribly to do something that i hate to do.
Drink alchohol, you'll die in 30 yrs' time
smoke a cigarrette, you'll die in 20 yrs' time
love someone, you'll die everyday
do something that you hate to do, you'll die every second
The only way to escape from my work, is to wait for the bond to be over. I've signed a bond that wants me to serve for 4 years. haiz...tsk tsk tsk *sighs heavily* It has been only one week so far. another 207 weeks to go (assuming that 52 weeks per year). Sometimes, I really do believe that the world is gonna end in 2012 and i wish it happens in 2010 itself. Just hate how things are going in my life!
i've no other choices but to whine and complain! anyway, let's put aside all these bad stuff aside!
Talking about happy moments- i tried bhangra aerobics last sunday. It's super cool and a great workout session. Love the music and moves. I'm gonna watch 'i hate love stories' this sunday! just can't wait. Attending a friend's wedding tmr. Gonna play soccer next saturday and gonna celebrate one of my besties' birthday next sunday.
Looking at these events, hmmm....... i love weekends!!
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Friday, July 2, 2010
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Life's difficult moment
financial problems, mother-in-law conflict, no promotion scope in jobs- if you think that these are some of life's difficult moments, you should hear my story then. Yesterday-friday. It was one week b4 gd friday. A friday that turned to be a bad friday for me. I was about to return home after work. While packing my stuff in my bag, I looked out of the window. The sky looked normal. Once I signed out at the general office, I came out and made my way to the exit.
Rain started to pour heavily from nowhere. I was taken aback. a little shocked! I took out my umbrella from my bag with much struggle and walked towards the bus stop. I thought I could make it to the bus stop. But just couldn't. Every time I took a step forward, strong winds pushed me back. My umbrella was swinging out of control. I had to exert extra force to hold it tightly. And the rain taught me a lesson. Never ever wear to be in a skirt out on the streets when it rains. With umbrella going out of control, my skirt 'danced' to the tunes of the strong winds. With one hand on the umbrella, the other hand made its way to keep my skirt from the 'unwanted dance'.
I realised that the bag's zip was torn. The reports and other important documents were in the bag and the heavy downpour had ruined some of them. Oh my god! I just didn't know what to do.
dancing skirt, flying umbrella, reports being ruined by the rain- life's difficult moment indeed!
Thank god, the security guard in the nearby apartments saw my plight and took pity on me. He suggested that I should take shelter first and wait for the rain to stop. I was really touched by his act. It was realllyyyyyy sweet of him! Thanks uncle.
Rain started to pour heavily from nowhere. I was taken aback. a little shocked! I took out my umbrella from my bag with much struggle and walked towards the bus stop. I thought I could make it to the bus stop. But just couldn't. Every time I took a step forward, strong winds pushed me back. My umbrella was swinging out of control. I had to exert extra force to hold it tightly. And the rain taught me a lesson. Never ever wear to be in a skirt out on the streets when it rains. With umbrella going out of control, my skirt 'danced' to the tunes of the strong winds. With one hand on the umbrella, the other hand made its way to keep my skirt from the 'unwanted dance'.
I realised that the bag's zip was torn. The reports and other important documents were in the bag and the heavy downpour had ruined some of them. Oh my god! I just didn't know what to do.
dancing skirt, flying umbrella, reports being ruined by the rain- life's difficult moment indeed!
Thank god, the security guard in the nearby apartments saw my plight and took pity on me. He suggested that I should take shelter first and wait for the rain to stop. I was really touched by his act. It was realllyyyyyy sweet of him! Thanks uncle.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Emotions on a Roller Coaster
I live for the weekends and 'die' on the rest of the days. hate work to the core. It's really exhausting. Brain cells are dead and are being sent to the mortuary. Every sunday night, I get into a sort of depression mode thinking of the next day's work. Emotions are on a roller coaster ride. Some parts of the day, I feel fine for no reason. The next minute, I become really really upset for no reason. Friends keep saying that I should learn to pat my heart and say 'aal izz well'
But it is bloody damn difficult to be calm and be composed. It is so tough to bring the heart to a relaxed mood. Whenever I want to whisper 'aal izz well', my mind and heart wander off to hell. All I could feel is pain. If someone were to ask me the reason for my devastation, I have no answer to that question. Loss of appetite, lack of social life, gloomy days, sleepless nights...oh well speaking about sleepless nights. I work from 630 am to 6pm everyday. I return home to rest from 7pm to 11pm. Get up again to finish any pending work till 5am after which I get ready for my work again.
My journey seems to be travelling in only one path- home to workplace. Oh what the...!! *sighs* It has been days since I logged on to facebook. It has been days since I last spoke to my friends or smsed them. It has been ages I met up with them. Going through a period of 'I-don't-want-to-see- the-world.' I think I've said this earlier somewhere in my blog- A costly mistake made in my life that had brought me to this state today. I should have fought then even if that had broken many hearts. I should have done it for my well-being, for my sake, for my life! I should have been firm in my decision. I should have not gotten into a course that I didn't want to do in my life.
so many 'should's.... Now fate is shooting me!:(
But it is bloody damn difficult to be calm and be composed. It is so tough to bring the heart to a relaxed mood. Whenever I want to whisper 'aal izz well', my mind and heart wander off to hell. All I could feel is pain. If someone were to ask me the reason for my devastation, I have no answer to that question. Loss of appetite, lack of social life, gloomy days, sleepless nights...oh well speaking about sleepless nights. I work from 630 am to 6pm everyday. I return home to rest from 7pm to 11pm. Get up again to finish any pending work till 5am after which I get ready for my work again.
My journey seems to be travelling in only one path- home to workplace. Oh what the...!! *sighs* It has been days since I logged on to facebook. It has been days since I last spoke to my friends or smsed them. It has been ages I met up with them. Going through a period of 'I-don't-want-to-see- the-world.' I think I've said this earlier somewhere in my blog- A costly mistake made in my life that had brought me to this state today. I should have fought then even if that had broken many hearts. I should have done it for my well-being, for my sake, for my life! I should have been firm in my decision. I should have not gotten into a course that I didn't want to do in my life.
so many 'should's.... Now fate is shooting me!:(
Sunday, February 21, 2010
If the world wouldn't suck, we'd all fall off
The title of my post has issues with regards to physics, gravity and force. I'm least bothered about them. What has been bothering me for the past few days is 'why life sucks'. Whenever my mind starts asking this question 'why was I born?', for once I should be aware that something terribly is gonna be wrong.
finished with studies. graduating in 3 months' time. 10 week work attachment from tommorrow. Looks as though I am pretty much settled down in life. But, am I happy with a life that has laid down everything for me?- a safe career and relatively well-paid job. Can't I take the route less travelled by? As some of friends know, I was forced to choose a course I hated. I was forced to enter into a profession that I hated most. Now, I hate it when I have to put a smile and act as though everything is perfect. The smile, whenever I look at the mirror, kills my conscience and my conscience shouts out loud at me ," you've betrayed yourself."
A heart-throbbing pain travels all through my veins and cells.
I don't want a career or a job where I need to follow what others do and say. I want to be my own boss. I want to start something on my own. More than a follower, I want to lead others into the path less travelled. It is a risk. In fact, I'm ready to take the calculated risk. All I want are support, encouragement, arms that would lovingly embrace me and a shoulder to cry when I need. Am I expecting too much?
I've been thinking of all these for a while and usually ends up with confusion and disappointment. Where should i go? Where should I start? Is this the most ethical thing to do- quit my job even before i start? Am I ready to pay for it? Am I ready to face everyone after that? Will I have the strength to answer their questions?
Confused. Disturbed. Dismayed.
finished with studies. graduating in 3 months' time. 10 week work attachment from tommorrow. Looks as though I am pretty much settled down in life. But, am I happy with a life that has laid down everything for me?- a safe career and relatively well-paid job. Can't I take the route less travelled by? As some of friends know, I was forced to choose a course I hated. I was forced to enter into a profession that I hated most. Now, I hate it when I have to put a smile and act as though everything is perfect. The smile, whenever I look at the mirror, kills my conscience and my conscience shouts out loud at me ," you've betrayed yourself."
A heart-throbbing pain travels all through my veins and cells.
I don't want a career or a job where I need to follow what others do and say. I want to be my own boss. I want to start something on my own. More than a follower, I want to lead others into the path less travelled. It is a risk. In fact, I'm ready to take the calculated risk. All I want are support, encouragement, arms that would lovingly embrace me and a shoulder to cry when I need. Am I expecting too much?
I've been thinking of all these for a while and usually ends up with confusion and disappointment. Where should i go? Where should I start? Is this the most ethical thing to do- quit my job even before i start? Am I ready to pay for it? Am I ready to face everyone after that? Will I have the strength to answer their questions?
Confused. Disturbed. Dismayed.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)