Sunday, February 21, 2010

If the world wouldn't suck, we'd all fall off

The title of my post has issues with regards to physics, gravity and force. I'm least bothered about them. What has been bothering me for the past few days is 'why life sucks'. Whenever my mind starts asking this question 'why was I born?', for once I should be aware that something terribly is gonna be wrong.

finished with studies. graduating in 3 months' time. 10 week work attachment from tommorrow. Looks as though I am pretty much settled down in life. But, am I happy with a life that has laid down everything for me?- a safe career and relatively well-paid job. Can't I take the route less travelled by? As some of friends know, I was forced to choose a course I hated. I was forced to enter into a profession that I hated most. Now, I hate it when I have to put a smile and act as though everything is perfect. The smile, whenever I look at the mirror, kills my conscience and my conscience shouts out loud at me ," you've betrayed yourself."

A heart-throbbing pain travels all through my veins and cells.

I don't want a career or a job where I need to follow what others do and say. I want to be my own boss. I want to start something on my own. More than a follower, I want to lead others into the path less travelled. It is a risk. In fact, I'm ready to take the calculated risk. All I want are support, encouragement, arms that would lovingly embrace me and a shoulder to cry when I need. Am I expecting too much?

I've been thinking of all these for a while and usually ends up with confusion and disappointment. Where should i go? Where should I start? Is this the most ethical thing to do- quit my job even before i start? Am I ready to pay for it? Am I ready to face everyone after that? Will I have the strength to answer their questions?

Confused. Disturbed. Dismayed.

10 comments:

பேநா மூடி said...

ஹம்ம்..,

Srivats said...

U know one thing thats in favour of u ? time. U are young and you are just deciding ur career. So its better to decide the right thing instead of putting that fake smile on ur face. If u want to be ur own boss, u got to learn how to boss . so a job would defn help, all u need to do is find the right place / field and go by ur heart. All the best!

THis neednt be this tough :)

Kalaivani said...

"Oru Kanavu Kandaal Athu Thinanum Enral Oru Naalil Nijamaagum"
- AUtograph movie song lyric.

If you have aspirations, it will come true somehow. Slowly but SURELY, things will happen as what you want to . :)

Hopeless Romantic said...

Don't we all go through this...important thing is you don't let the externalities overcome your life .

Relax, there is a long way to go still....

Cheers,
Amit

bangles said...

@srivats, //If u want to be ur own boss, u got to learn how to boss//
well-said dude:))

bangles said...

@amit, thanks dude:)

gils said...

hey bangles :) first time here..semma strong post.. :)i personally feel..god gives us what suits us the most..rather than wat we think will suit us the most. Kutti paapas wud be crazy after the sweetmeats on a roadside eatery..but parents know better ilaya..athay mathiri. Maybe you are cut out for your new profile and you might surprise yourself by coming up trumps and even likin it too in the process :) Cheers and all the best :)

bangles said...

@gils, thanks dude:) yep will have to wait and see what HE has stored for me:)

gils said...

how to add friends quotes to my blog?? steps solungalen

bangles said...

@gils, click on the get quote icon. u will see some html code stuff. copy and paste it in ur blog.:)