Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Love your kids and learn to say 'i love you'

How many of us have actually uttered this phrase to our kids: "i love you". We rarely do. We are emotional beings- we laugh, cry, shout in anger and express our emotions and feelings in various ways. But when it comes to love and affection, are we really expressive? Do we show our love explicitly?

'love' is a taboo word in many asian families till today. When I say love, I mean the love between parents and kids. Most of the times, we associate the word 'love' to something bad and vulgar. However, it is the most powerful and strong word that makes a big difference. Now, it narrows down to how we show our love to kids. Yes, we do provide food, shelter, clothing, money and freedom to our kids. Parents want them to understand the hardship that they go through for the kids. In fact, children understand every bit of it. What kids want is, a little bit more than that. Parents saying it verbally to them, "i love you son/girl".

It may sound simple yet some parents feel awkard saying it. Well actually, it also deals with the issue of letting go of your ego. yes! Parents should not just understand kids' feelings but also 'feel' their feelings. Let's say a child is studying for exams. We know the child' potential and capability. There is no necessity to pressurize the kid by adding fuel to fire. All that the child wants to know from parents is the assurance that they will be supporting him/her no matter what happens. Support/encouragement/motivation can all be done in saying these three magical words -"i love you". Love your kids for who they are and not what they are going to be. After all, they are your kids, your blood, your angels!

Have you danced with your children in the rain?
Have you ever gone wild dancing/singing on ur child's 18th birthday party?
Have you gone for a long drive with your kid?
Have you ever said to your teenage child about how the girl/guy at the bus-stop is all looking cute?

no??? Sorry, you've missed alot in life! nothing is late! start it right now:)

Be a friend to your kid! Hug them! Give them a goodnight kiss and don't forget to say 'i love u':)


asha said...

meaningful post. My petting session with my children(13 & 11 years) is called 'huggies' and 'pampers'. We do it like a ritual daily before going to bed. This touch demonstrates how much we love and care for them.

You are right about pressurising the children during exam time.

smashing said...

@asha, //huggies' and 'pampers//
really really cute:)) send my regards to ur kids:)

Karthik said...

thanks for this one. very matured writing.

as for as expressing love, our parents still not comfortable doing that. even when we do, all they say is 'enagitta ethukkuda ithellam solre?' :)

Kirukalgal said...

I came to your blog thru "Srivats"!

Wonderful post!
It looks like you read my mind. My mom, when I hug her she says, "Ok! Are you done? Now I have to go, no time for pampering"
She is shy when I hug her, she don't know how to respond to it.
Even among couples, since we are Indians we know that most of our marriages are arranged. They don't say "Love you" to each other. Even if one asks, they simply say, "Don't you know that?". You are right about saying it each time.
My 3yrd old she often gives hugs and kisses every morning before her father goes to office.
We are making it essential in our home.

Americanising Desi said...

i wish i could have that 'i love you' relationship with my parents... at least i could say 'i love you' to them which i think i never have!

bangles said...

@kirukalgal, hey really nice to hear that ur 3yr old kid follows such a habit. really nice:)

@americanising desi, EXACTLY! we've nvr done so and we'll nvr do so. but maybe the next generation might follow a healthy trend of saying i love u to their kids! hope to see a change.

Mayz said...

that was a very meaningful post...

thou sometimes i think u dont need to say it...even silence in those nights when a mother holds her child in a dark room says it

Jaunty anima said...

That's a vry basic n a cute post I've read in recent times SB...err...smash..yeah smash...I'm gonna call u!!:) don't mind alryt!!

Really even I'm not the one who'd say 'I love you's regularly to my parents coz somehow I feel they know it..y say it...but over the times I've realized saying things is important...the other person may not always know how u feel for them...!!

Keep writing Smash!!!

smashing said...

@jaunty, haha thanks for ur visit to the blog! yesssss smashing all the way. u tc too!:))

Vinodhini said...

Hey, this one is close to my heart...opened my eyes in a way too..nvr really thought of saying 'i love you' to my kids in the's a good point to take note realise the importance of saying it.. but hey, i also feel that you don't really have to say it too...