I live for the weekends and 'die' on the rest of the days. hate work to the core. It's really exhausting. Brain cells are dead and are being sent to the mortuary. Every sunday night, I get into a sort of depression mode thinking of the next day's work. Emotions are on a roller coaster ride. Some parts of the day, I feel fine for no reason. The next minute, I become really really upset for no reason. Friends keep saying that I should learn to pat my heart and say 'aal izz well'
But it is bloody damn difficult to be calm and be composed. It is so tough to bring the heart to a relaxed mood. Whenever I want to whisper 'aal izz well', my mind and heart wander off to hell. All I could feel is pain. If someone were to ask me the reason for my devastation, I have no answer to that question. Loss of appetite, lack of social life, gloomy days, sleepless nights...oh well speaking about sleepless nights. I work from 630 am to 6pm everyday. I return home to rest from 7pm to 11pm. Get up again to finish any pending work till 5am after which I get ready for my work again.
My journey seems to be travelling in only one path- home to workplace. Oh what the...!! *sighs* It has been days since I logged on to facebook. It has been days since I last spoke to my friends or smsed them. It has been ages I met up with them. Going through a period of 'I-don't-want-to-see- the-world.' I think I've said this earlier somewhere in my blog- A costly mistake made in my life that had brought me to this state today. I should have fought then even if that had broken many hearts. I should have done it for my well-being, for my sake, for my life! I should have been firm in my decision. I should have not gotten into a course that I didn't want to do in my life.
so many 'should's.... Now fate is shooting me!:(